Not long ago, I came across a very intriguing and mischievous piece of poetry. Thanx to Geethu, my cousin sis, her friend’s sleepy, forgotten blog was brought to my attention. There I found the following words

I am Neha, I steal spoons
I steal spoons from the kitchen
and store them in my room
in a chipped white bowl to be precise
7 spoons in the bowl
then I go to the kitchen
and watch people search for spoons
they look through drawers, cupboards and sinks
but they find no spoons

then I take it up a notch
and accuse people of stealing spoons
as they stutter and mutter in their defense
I chuckle in my head
for I am neha and I steal spoons.

—————————————————————————-

Now, I felt that this was kinda wicked, and I need to know more. And so I reverted with…

Spoons & I

I am Harish, I lose spoons.
I lose ’em from my kitchen,
I lose ’em from my rooms.

Could be that a hungry poltergeist
Stole my spoon-set whole;
Maybe a thieving bunch-o-spoony-goons,
Or there’s a spoon-engulfing hole.

Have searched for them,
Searched and how,
Searched over many moons;
But there ain’t no story
Of disappearing spoons,
Even in ’em ancient runes.

There’s a legend though,
‘Bout a spoon stealin’ girl
Who if I ever meet,
Shall I reprimand;
But for now
There’s not much I can do,
Except to eat things
With my hand

It all makes me laugh,
And chuckle, in my head,
To think, I am a loon.
For I am Harish and I lose spoons.

——————————————————————————-

I got my cousin sis to get this poem across to Neha, to see if there is more to this unusual hobby. And in a few hours, I get a reply…

Spoons & her

I am Neha, I steal spoons,
I have been doing this for quite a few moons.
Alas, the road I travel grows weary and lonesome,
No one about except me, my spoons and half a bottle of rum.

So this is an open call,
to one and all.
Come join me in my pursuit,
and add to my spoon loot.

Your eyes will gleam with pleasure,
when you see your first spoon treasure.
We can steal spoons of every kind,
silver, wooden and any other that our eyes can find.
No more spoons shall you ever lose,
To lose or to steal, it is yours to choose.

The benefits I offer are a plenty,
my favourite is that awesome thrill,
when you spot the spoon and go for the kill.
I offer spoons to balance on your nose,
or even as inspiration for prose.
Join me and you will realise,
Eating with your hands, chopsticks or a fork is a bore,
stick with me and you will have spoons galore.

For I am Neha and I steal many a spoon,
Won’t you be my fellow goon?
———————————————————————————

Whoaaaaaa a job offer! This was way too cool. I had to explore. So then…

Hey there Neha,
The stealer of spoons,
I knew I would run into you
Later or soon.

Will admit, at first, I was angry,
But now my head’s kinda swirled;
For intrigued now, I am,
With the proposition, you’ve twirled.

True that eating with hands
I really don’t wanna do more;
Especially since drinking hot soup etc.
Have turned ’em kinda sore.

But now you got me confused,
To steal or to lose;
I would rather not choose.

Instead I will look at my strengths,
And extrapolate the lengths,
To which I can be of use!

Stealing, I ain’t so good at,
But would love to join the crew,
Will pass on the rum,
But I sure can hum
And so i’ll hum a hum or two.

How about this, pray tell,
That I work my magical spell,
To catalogue your treasure,
And give you an exact measure,
And all the data on MS Excel?

Do give it a thought
And say if you don’t mind,
Can I be a spoon-goon
Of a different kind?

I promise to bring order,
To all the spoons that are strewn;
For I’ll be Harish, cataloguer of stolen spoons!

————————————————————————————

To whichΒ  she replied…

Today I found myself in a cafe,
There I saw a spoon by the cream parfait,
I stole it and my heart jumped with glee,
Until I found out the spoon was for free.

Perhaps I am getting rusty,
Quite like the loot in a sack all musty,
Organisation is what I need,
Could even do with a spoon stealers creed.

Excel sheets sound perfect,
You are hired by immediate effect.
What is the remuneration you might need,
That plus loads of entertainment is guaranteed.

This is a huge responsibility,
The spoon stealing business is quite the liability.
The spoons not only need to be organized,
But the spoons owned and free need to be recognized.

Together we can locate spoons on new soils,
Then eat hot soup with our spoils.
I am Neha and I steal many a spoon,
And am looking forward to you joining pretty soon.

————————————————————————————–

Aha! I thought about it, and went…

I think I may know,
To check if a spoon’s for free or no;
Its a quick fix test of sorts,
Kind of a touch and go.

When in doubt,
Drop a spoon down;
And when you do that,
Make a lotta sound.
If no one cares,
The spoons are for free;
And they’re not,
If the maitre d’ does frown!

Guess I can be of help,
As you can see.
All this and more,
For a paltry fee.
Pay me in songs,
Whenever you can;
And once in a while,
Gimme concert tickets free.

I hope that I ain’t
Asking for too much,
And that it’d be cool
With you too, as such.
I wish that our
Requirements are a match,
Cause I can’t wait to get started
On the first spoon batch!

Do drop in a simple
Yes or No, fellow goon,
And I will see you soon
On the dark side of the moon!

————————————————————————————-

And just like that, a random conversation happened…
… over stolen spoons.

Spoons

22 Thoughts on “Over Stolen Spoons

  1. Hahaha! What a joy to read. Sometimes the conversations on the simplest of things are the most wonderful ones. πŸ™‚

    This is funny because I just bought spoons last week, I blamed my brother for their disappearance. But now I know better πŸ˜‰

  2. Absolutely love it! What an interesting exchange. love the illustrations too, esp of Neha. Now, I copied these lines to tell you what I liked best but now I am confused. I love it all. Want to hear how this job of yours goes, oh cataloguer of stolen spoons and if you get any concert tickets. let me know.

    True that eating with hands
    I really don’t wanna do more;
    Especially since drinking hot soup etc.
    Have turned β€˜em kinda sore.

  3. Geethu on July 12, 2010 at 9:52 am said:

    Sleepy?!!? Gasp!
    How could you call it that?!

  4. Geethu on July 12, 2010 at 9:54 am said:

    That aside….Simbly Loverly… I lowe the drawings… =)

  5. dangerous you both cozins are… will stay away from you two…
    coz i steal spoons when i am travelling by flight..

    kingfisher is my fav ….

    PS: chore chore ko loot sakta hai….

  6. Well I am a performer,
    I reach out to masses
    Probably thats why,
    love to steal their glasses

    If you are interested
    for an aggressive expansion
    Contact me please
    at my mansion

    Together we can
    strike a deal
    Explore and find
    more cutlery to steal

    For I like your rhymes
    and charm to swoon
    These lines have left me
    with a smile like toon.

  7. Stunning repartee in the post. Love the rhymes going on and just how words have been used. Bootiful stuff man..welcome back to the fold πŸ™‚

  8. Oh yeah and dem illustrations, they be wicked πŸ™‚

  9. Spikedelik on July 12, 2010 at 8:55 pm said:

    @Dee Hehehe I will ask Neha if she will return the spoons of my friends πŸ˜›

    @Indu Thanx thanx! Awesome to know that you are confused! I was hoping the pics were half as good as the ones you come up with! πŸ™‚

    @Geethu Dearest Sis, ‘Sleepy’ … ’cause there has been no updates for over an year on the blog. Of course the content there isn’t sleepy by far!!! Also I’m so glad you didn’t call the pics ‘cute’ πŸ˜›

    @RaKh Abbe meri sis chor nahin hain, ye sis ki friend hain πŸ˜› But since you have experience in stealing spoons, you can very well join the gang!

    @Aniket Awesomely cool stuff!!! I bet Neha will be super kicked when she read this! πŸ˜€ Looks like I will have a crazy time, catalouging all this! πŸ˜›

    @Kits Beeeeeeeg Hugggggggguh! Super thanx for all the love! Thanx for always pushing me to keep writing πŸ˜€

  10. the kind of exchange I wish I had had πŸ™‚

  11. Mehul on July 12, 2010 at 11:05 pm said:

    Man…!!! That was goooood … hehehehe……Loved it bro ….absolutely.!!

  12. epic post! too much only. fundoo cutting repartees! (or should i say cuttlerying repartees.. hehe)

  13. Neha on July 13, 2010 at 8:52 am said:

    πŸ™‚ It is quite wonderful to see so many lovely responses…
    *raises a spoon* here’s to many more such fun and unexpected exchanges.

    @gee, thanks for bringing up the sleepy bit, i shall now take a stand on the forgotten comment!!

    @harish, kya be?! (btw great illustrations)

    @aniket, love the rhyme!

    @ra kh, already added the kingfisher spoon to my loot, its uber funky na?

  14. Mayank on July 13, 2010 at 8:41 pm said:

    Real nice !!! Please please please carry on with the conversation … Maybe we’ll have all thieves coming down to this blog and confessing their guilt πŸ™‚

  15. Spikedelik on July 13, 2010 at 9:27 pm said:

    @arun πŸ˜€ May it be so…

    @Mehul Thanx dada πŸ™‚

    @Fuzzy Hehehe. Super glad that you enjoyed it.

    @Mayank Ahahah! sure is a possibility, the way this thread is going!

    @Neha kya be? right back!! πŸ˜› Write more, and I will take my words back. Deal? (btw thanx!)

  16. I too enjoyed reading this!!!

  17. Neeta on July 14, 2010 at 10:24 pm said:

    What a rapid-fire, lyrical, imaginative repartee! Hats off to both of you for the amazing flow of words, quite like soup being slurped from a spoon! Waiting for the sequel πŸ˜€

  18. @the spoon stealer and the cataloger: Thankew! πŸ˜‰

  19. Ravi on July 16, 2010 at 3:33 am said:

    Sweeet…!!!

  20. ab kya batau, kitni baar bataya aise chori wale kaam mat kar. lekin ab to main thuk gaya hoon samjha samjha ke. saare sheher mein naam kharab kar dia hai isne mera. ab to bas ek hi ummed hai k jald se iski shaadi ho jaye koi namboodri k saath to chori chakari chhod de, aur ek hasi khushi aur mehnat mazduri se kamaker khanewali zindagi jiye….hahahhah….

  21. ha ha ha….very interesting…it seemed like a platonic conversation between aliens πŸ™‚

    very creative indeed!!!

  22. Wicked indeed!

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